"You've Come for me, and you're going to be sorry!"

​A survivor’s story by Brianna Moodie

My name is Brianna Moodie. I am a breast cancer survivor. On February 20, 2019 I was diagnosed with Stage 2, grade 3, invasive ductal carcinoma. But I’m not just a survivor, I am a wife, and a busy mom of 3 little boys. My mom is a two-time breast cancer survivor and had urged me for years to begin having mammograms early. She was diagnosed at 46, so I needed to start 10 years younger. My family doctor also urged me to get checked. I finally went for my first mammogram at the age of 36.

I knew that I was doing the right thing showing up for that mammogram, but my mind was racing, I was nervous, and I was scared. I was giving myself a mental pep talk… “You’re fine…in and out…you’re fine. Nothing to worry about.” The mammogram was done, and I was out of there. And the following day, came the call. A spot on my right breast. Something didn’t look right, and they needed me to come back for more imaging. That imaging led to an ultrasound and then a biopsy. I could feel my heart pounding and although my mind was telling me to stay positive, my heart was telling me something was wrong. The next day, those words came- “it’s cancer.” And from that moment I felt I felt like the pause button was pushed on my life. The numbness and fear that washed over me in that moment was paralyzing. I have three little boys! They need me! And I need them!

A plan was set… 16 chemotherapy treatments, 8 weeks of a dense dose treatment, AC (Adriamycin and Cytoxan) followed by 12 Taxol and Carboplatin treatments. A double mastectomy and reconstruction followed the treatment.

I had read a survivor’s story before I started treatment, she was talking about how she felt 85% of her battle with cancer was mental. I knew I was going to be fighting for my life, but I also knew that while fighting I had to remain positive, even on the days when I felt so defeated, and frankly, totally alone. As a family, we decided to plan something fun every couple of weeks, something to look forward to…a get-together with friends, dinner at our favorite place, or a little weekend getaway. A goal to work toward to keep the positivity flowing and my spirits up. I was blessed, and continue to be blessed by the amazing support of family and friends, who joined in with planning those little markers along the way. I was amazed at the kindness, the support, the LOVE I felt. I had people and help right at my fingertips, and they were so eager to help. If I can give advice to any other fighters out there reading this, it’s to take the help! Allow people to help you. It’s so important to stay positive and to know you are not alone. And be kind to yourself. Things are changing that you have no control over. Keep your morale high and your self-love strong.

I discovered a strength within myself that I didn’t know was there. And that, I owe to my faith. On those extra hard days, when the pain was too much, both emotionally and physically, I knew I could pray at any time. Day or night. It gave me strength to get up each day and try again. It helped me immensely in my fight to stay positive.

​Although my life’s “pause button” had been pushed, I felt that I grew and evolved during my journey. And I continue to grow as a survivor. It was as though I was watching life carry on around me - but in my bubble I was growing. The play button has since been pushed, and life has resumed. But I have a new perspective and outlook on life. I feel that as a survivor, I will continue to fight every day, fighting for physical wellness, mental clarity, and peace. And, I know that I can. Because cancer taught me many things, but most importantly it taught me that I am strong. I told cancer on the day I was diagnosed, “You’ve come for me, and you’re going to be sorry.” I still stand by that declaration and will continue to as my journey after cancer carries on.

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