A SURVIVOR'S STORY

My journey with breast cancer began in my late twenties when I found a lump and had my first mammogram. The outcome was good and I went about my life. Twenty years later, at the age of 46, I found another lump. This time, the outcome was not what I had experienced in my twenties. After a mammogram that was negative, I requested an aspiration that revealed atypical cells and a biopsy confirmed cancer.

The diagnosis was Stage II her2 neu positive breast cancer. I was angry. My life was everything I had hoped for. I had recently remarried and was happier than I had ever been. My children were doing well and I had just started a new career as a real estate appraiser. I approached breast cancer as I have most things. I jumped in headfirst. I kept working through my treatments, missing only a few days of work. I was fortunate and did not get sick from the chemotherapy. Six weeks of radiation and life went on. This was my anger/denial stage. This was my “I’m fine, I’m going to win” stage. I kept my feelings inside and kept going. I was scared. I thought of breast cancer often and feared I was going to die. My body would not let me avoid breast cancer. I had shooting pains in my breast and a buildup of lymph fluid in my breast that was drained periodically to relieve pain. Eventually my body overcame the affects of my treatments and I began to recover physically. I experienced a full-blown case of the grieving process. It began with feelings of anger and denial, then bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I spent a long time in the beginning stages of this process before I realized what was happening to me. In retrospect, I think I could have benefited from a support group and the wisdom of others who had traveled my road. I may have dealt with my feeling of fear sooner. I am a four year survivor. I have worked hard to make my way through the grieving process. I no longer think of breast cancer every day. My family and I continue to heal by sharing our fears, thoughts and feelings on occasion. I strongly recommend finding a wise person to share your feelings and fears - maybe it is a support group, a friend, your spouse or a professional. You will heal both physically and emotionally. You can’t do one without the other.