LOOK FOR THE SILVER LINING

Cold, hollow, a blur. These are the feelings I experienced when I was told I had stage 3 triple-negative breast cancer, along with the BRCA1 gene, at the age of 33. No one can prepare you for that news and you can’t help but think of the worst.

We often hear that no one knows your body better than you, but this became a reality for me after my diagnosis. For five months prior to my diagnosis, I had been complaining about pain in my breast. The pain was constant, not excruciating, but very tender. I did not show the “normal signs” of breast cancer, so my symptoms did not raise any red flags, until months later when I found a lump. I had a feeling this lump was a lymph node, as it was more in my arm pit area. I had a mammogram and an ultrasound and was told that there were a couple of concerning spots. As soon as they turned the screen to show me, I started crying. I knew something wasn’t right and the images confirmed those feelings. After that first initial shock and panic wore off about my diagnosis, my emotions were all over the place. I look back at pictures from before my diagnosis and wish so badly for those “easy” days again. Emotions aside though, attitude is everything! I’ve always been a glass half full kind of person. I truly believe that a positive attitude can make all the difference in any situation. My advice to anyone going through a challenging time is to always look for the “silver lining;' there’s always at least one! Cancer treatment is no walk in the park, especially when you’re thrown curve balls throughout the journey. But through it all I have continued to keep my positive mind set. At the time of my diagnosis, I was given the standard triple-negative treatment plan, Taxol/Carbo and then AC. I had fully prepared myself for chemo side effects, but what I was not prepared for was having so many allergic reactions. I’ve always been one of those patients that never wanted to be a bother, but being open and vocal with your medical team is so critical when going through treatment. During my second chemo treatment I quickly started to experience reactions that I had felt the first time. Seconds after clicking the button to call the nurse, my throat started to swell. My blood pressure soon began to tank. I can’t even describe what that feels like other than every square inch of your body hurting. That has so far been the scariest moment of my life but thank goodness I was in such great hands! I continued to have reactions to two more chemo drugs after this, but even so, my treatments were working! My husband and I have two young children, and they have also taught me so much about resiliency and u n d e r s t a n d i n g through all of this. I was so worried they wouldn’t understand what was happening to me or be confused. We explained to them that mommy has a few boo-boos and the medicine I must take will make my hair fall out. They just looked at us and said “ok, will it come back?” with no concern. I was also worried that I’d be down for the count most of the summer and not be able to do many fun things with them. Again, they were perfectly content with numerous movie nights and playdays at home while mom laid on the couch. As I write this, I’ve finished my last round of chemo and now am preparing for my surgery in a few weeks. Six months ago, I thought the chemo treatments would never end, but looking back time has flown by. I know it will continue to go like this as I progress through the rest of my treatment plan. I’ve always been a supporter of the Beyond Pink TEAM in the past but now having been on the receiving end of their services, it’s even more personal for me. I sadly won’t be able to physically participate in the Pink Ribbon Run this year due to my surgery, but my family and friends intend on making this an annual tradition moving forward. One positive thing that has come out of my cancer journey is realizing how amazing and kind people are. So many people have helped us through this journey and continue to support my family in ways I never could’ve imagined.