MY PHILOSOPHY – KEEP SMILING AND STAY POSITIVE

My breast cancer journey started September 28, 2012 with a routine mammogram. I had just turned 44 and it had been almost three years since my last one. After being called back for an ultrasound, which I have had before and it had always been benign, the radiologist came in and said they would like to biopsy both of my breasts. The radiologist told me that it looked like there were suspicious areas in both breasts. I was in shock.

I went back to my office and talked with my coworkers as I waited for my husband to pick me up. (My coworkers are like close family. I could never have made it through without them.) My husband and I sat and cried as I told him. He held me, saying that it wasn’t fair, but that we would beat it. My biopsies came back positive. I decided to get a second opinion at Mayo. The MRI I had done showed invasive breast cancer in both breasts. Since my mother and maternal grandmother both had breast cancer, I decided to do the BRCA test. My test was positive for the BRCA gene 2. My cancer was 8.5 cm. in my left breast and 4.5 cm. in my right breast. Since I was postmenopausal, diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer, and based on the size of the tumors, I decided on chemo before surgery. During this time my mother was battling colon cancer, yet she was so hopeful and so caring towards me. My husband accompanied me to all of my appointments and was my rock the entire time. My children, coworkers, and friends all became so important to me. I realized that I know a lot of very special people in this world. I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction, and radiation to my left breast, and had finally beaten my cancer. During this time (2013) my husband had a health scare in August, and my mother was ill with terminal colon cancer. I was still tired and worn out from my radiation. On October 3, 2013 my husband passed away from a GI bleed. I was devastated. He had been so loving during our entire marriage, but even more so after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He would hold me and we would cry together. He let me have my sad, mad, "this is not fair" outbursts, and he would just hold me. My four children and I have missed him so much. Two and a half weeks later my mother passed away from colon cancer. My world was just crumbling. I have always tried to maintain such a positive attitude through this experience. People tell me how strong I am. Well, I’m not always strong, but I have found that feeling sorry for yourself just brings you down. My philosophy is to keep smiling and try to stay positive. Four months after my husband and mother passed away, I was sick but thought it was just a cold. I went to the doctor and had multiple tests completed. I was found to have heart failure caused by chemotherapy. My heart function was 87% before treatment and after the testing it was found to be at 25%. I have been gradually increasing two of my three heart medications, and will now be on them for the rest of my life. It has since been six months, and I am no longer in heart failure. My hair has grown back, I have lost 25 lbs, but I’m eating healthy and I feel pretty good. I am still tired from my heart medications but I believe I am one lucky girl. My cancer is gone and my heart is repairing. I have wonderful family, coworkers, and friends. God has truly blessed me and I am grateful every day to have one more day.