By Chaplain Gloria Strickert, BCC

​When times of tragedy or crisis come into our lives we become frightened, and wonder how we will survive. How we will go on? What will happen? As a chaplain I visit people every day who face new diagnosis, chronic debilitating conditions, and broken relationships, loss of meaningful work, grief and death. One of the things I try to help people do is to recall a time in their life when they experienced a similarly difficult time of crisis or struggle. I invite them to revisit that time and reflect on what it was that helped them cope. What gave them the strength, courage, help or comfort that they needed? Where did it come from?

​We all have external and internal resources we access every day, often without much awareness. For example, if your car breaks down and you need to pick up your child at school you might call a friend or neighbor to provide a ride. These people are external resources. Many people name the loving support of family, friends and faith community as their primary external resources. For others it might be a pet, nature, exercise, music, art or a hobby. Your external resources in a sense provide the links to your internal resources. Internal resources are what you carry inside of you. What makes you, YOU. Your perception of life and the world around you, and what guides your approach and interaction with others, life and the world. These internal resources include your morals and values, belief system, attitudes, personality traits etc. They are like the roots of the tree that keep you nourished and anchored in the earth. They are the origins of strength and hope, love and compassion, resilience and persistence, optimism, determination, perseverance, “grit” and personal strength. Once a person can identify the internal resource(s) they possess, they can once again access them and use them like tools to make it through the current crisis.

I have been a chaplain to persons with cancer for more than a decade and I often comment that I continue to learn from each of them. This summer when the disaster of flood hit my home and my life, I became acutely aware of the lessons I have been taught by cancer patients and their loved ones. I saw increasing parallels in my experiences and yours. Like cancer, floods can come with or without warning and they can be more aggressive and extensive than expected. The cleanup can be relatively small and it can be immense. The clean-up and recovery from a flood, like chemo and radiation treatments, can take months to years. The work of both clean-up and treatment leave your body aching and fatigued and the whole experience strikes with a hard blow to your spirit. One day while taking a break I sat on my front steps looked around me and asked myself if I had the strength to do it all. My questioning took me back to several other long times of change, crisis and uncertainty in my life. In my reflection I revisited the internal strengths I possess with new awareness and appreciation.

I am a resilient, persistent woman! It is who I am by nature, nurture and the grace of God. My parents both lived with cancer for many years. Their resilience and fortitude shaped and nurtured mine. Their faith, wisdom, acceptance and peace strengthened and sustained me. I heard my mother say “This too shall end”, one of her favorite sayings that got us as children to look beyond the present distress. I heard the voice of God assuring me of God’s deep love and care for me “I will never leave you or forsake you”, “You are precious in my sight…and I love you”. Then I recalled the words of Mother Theresa of Calcutta “I know God doesn’t give you more than you can handle…I just wish God didn’t have so much faith in me!” I smiled, laughed inside and went back to work with fresh air in my lungs, the warmth of the sun on my skin and love surrounding me, strengthening me and sustaining me.

It is my prayer that you, too, will be able to reflect on your inner resources, find love, strength, support and hope for your journey with cancer and have a good laugh along the way!

​One morning while getting dressed, I had an itch on my left breast. This itch turned out to be a lump. I thought, “this can’t be anything.” I had a cyst drained in the same spot eight years previously in Costa Rica where we were living. My immediate response was I’m 59 years old, my mother is living with me and my husband for two years with severe Alzheimer’s and I don’t have time for this!

My husband, Johnny, made an appointment that day with our doctor. I then had a mammogram. In about two week’s time, I had a biopsy, lumpectomy and met with the oncologist. Everything went very fast. I am grateful it happened that way because I know myself. I would have put everything off. I didn’t have time, or so I thought.

My husband and I are very fortunate that he was able to stop working. He now became my house-husband. He took control of getting respite care for my mother and enrolling her in an adult day care facility. He also took care of everything in the house. We did end up with white clothes turning blue and a few strange meals! For the first time in my adult life, however, someone was taking care of me. He has gone to every doctor appointment, chemotherapy and radiation treatment. He truly is my rock.

Johnny shaved his head when I had the lumpectomy. He wanted to show his support that I wouldn’t be bald alone. The most traumatic moment was when he shaved my head. I had waist length blonde hair that he loved and after starting chemo I had my hair cut very short. Over a three-day weekend, my hair began to fall out and I couldn’t wait to go to the beauty shop. Johnny shaved designs, gave me a Mohawk, all with a lot of pictures, laughter and tears – mainly from him. My hair has begun to grow back now, but I was comfortable with my bald head. I only wore my wigs a few times because I was too hot. At home I went bald and when going out I wore a hat. My husband let his hair grow back because winter was coming and his head was freezing.

I consider myself very fortunate. I didn’t have complications that others had during my chemo, only some bone pain and a bit of neuropathy in my feet. My radiation treatments were a breeze. We just kept saying how blessed we were not to have the complications, pain and emotional stress that some have.

We are now attending exercise classes and again, I can think of a million reasons why I can’t go. My husband can work out while I’m there, so with more laughter, he has asked me to stay longer so he can stay longer.

​I’ve gotten through this with a lot of love and laughter from my husband. We have always kept a positive attitude and I know that is what has gotten me through to this point - - a positive attitude, along with all the support and care from the medical staff and everyone involved from the beginning until now.