a survivor's story

by Mary Marticoff

I know 1995 seems like a long time ago, but it is a year I will never forget. It was a quiet June evening and with just a casual scratch of an itch, I discovered a lump in my breast. I wasn’t a woman who did monthly self-breast exams regularly, but I was given a wake-up call. I now push everyone I know to do this simple task. I know I am lucky to have discovered what could have been my daughters’ worst nightmare.

Hi, I’m Mary Marticoff, and I am a breast cancer survivor. Everyone has some sort of fear of turning 40, but that year was extremely challenging for me. My divorce was final in May, I got breast cancer in June, and I turned 40 in July.

I don’t remember the little details. I can remember the two painful needle biopsies that didn’t help. I can remember the lump being removed, and within minutes being told I have cancer. I can remember the panic in my throat, but not crying. I can remember my parents taking me home. I can remember sitting alone with my thoughts, scared I was going to die.

Surgery was scheduled within two weeks. A left side mastectomy was recommended because of the size of the lump, but it was my decision to make. My thoughts were I didn’t want any chance for the cancer to return, so I agreed to the mastectomy. Again, considering the size of the lump, my age, and having no family history of breast cancer, chemotherapy was recommended. I had six months of chemo every two weeks. I lost all my hair by my third treatment, so baseball caps became very popular in my house. I never got sick and I never missed a single day of work. My girls say I slept a lot when I was home, but I can’t remember any bad side effects. I was lucky; someone was watching over me.

The hardest part for me was having no support. My girls were just teenagers at that time, so they really didn’t know what to do or say. I knew they loved me, and probably were too scared to say what they feared the most. They were still too young to lose their mother, I had to survive. I don’t remember any family support from my parents or siblings. I’m sure prayers were said, but it would have been nice to hear a voice of concern. No, I was on my own. I had to be strong for myself and for my children.

That was 15 years ago. I am healthy, on no medicine, loving and living life. Having breast cancer made me the strong woman I am today. I know the medical reasons why I survived, but I also know the spiritual reasons why I survived. I AM A SURVIVOR. 

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