didn't let cancer get me down - found support with BPT

​By Cari Tyler

Growing up, I was a very healthy child, only getting sick or the flu a handful of times. Even in my 20's and into my early 30's, I rarely had to call into work sick. So when I went in for my yearly OB/GYN appointment on April 29, 2015 (which also just so happened to be my 35th birthday!) all I could think was, "Ugh! I hope they don't poke around for very long."

All women look forward to this EXTREMELY fun appointment every year, right? Yeah, not so much!  This year was a little different for me though, because my maternal grandmother, who just turned 80 the previous summer, had been diagnosed with cancer that fall and I had questions. When the midwife came in, and before the actual exam started, I told her about my grandma's cancers. She had been diagnosed with breast and uterine cancer. The midwife listened to my concerns and reassured me that the odds were extremely low that I would have anything. We continued on with the physical exam (UGH!). When she did the breast exam, she said there was a lump that I should get checked out just to ease my mind, and hopefully confirm what she already told me. What we both didn't know is how this appointment would be the beginning of what felt like a horrible nightmare.

My next appointment was with the breast care doctor, who did an ultrasound and a biopsy telling me my results would be back the following week. I enjoyed the weekend and didn't think much about it because I had a small lump tested a few years and it came back normal. I also was thinking about what the midwife had told me; my chances of getting any kind of cancer, especially at my age, were about 1:500,000. When I waltzed into the room that following week with my son (I really thought everything would come back normal and I'd be in and out of there quickly) and the doctor broke the awful news that it was in fact cancer, time literally stopped. I looked at my son's puzzled face and knew I had to keep it together for him. It all felt like an out-of-body experience. I did ok until I got into the car and called my mom to break the news. We both just sobbed together.

I was referred to an oncologist, who ordered lots of scans and tests. During my bone scan, I told the nurse who was watching the scan that my hip had been hurting for months, but my insurance wouldn't pay for an x-ray until I had gone through physical therapy first. She then looked closer at the scan of my hip and after leaving to discuss this with the doctor, she told me they were going to take two x-rays just to check it out and the results would be sent to my oncologist.

May 28, 2015...the day all my scans were back and my results were shared with my mom and myself…THE DAY my world was turned upside down The cancer had spread to lymph nodes in my armpit, and my hip had a tumor on it which had eaten away almost half of the neck of the femur and ball joint. The oncologist said (and later my hip doctor would say the same thing) she didn't know how I hadn't fractured it yet. Immediately, I was put on crutches because I refused a wheelchair or a walker (COME ON! I'm a 35 year old single mom and extremely independent...absolutely not!). I also had to start Zoladex shots to shut down my ovaries since my cancer was hormone-fed. This meant no more children....the hardest thing to accept next to having cancer at such a young age. Don't get me wrong; I know how blessed I am to even have a child to begin with (especially such an amazing son!). I just always hoped to have more children someday, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. But I only got about 30 minutes to let this devastating news soak in. A whole 30 minutes from the time I was told my ovaries needed to be shut down, to the gut wrenching shot I had to get to start the shutdown. (Did I mention I really HATE needles?). Breast cancer, Stage 4, grade 2, ER+(100%), PR+(70%), HER-.....these are all the terms used to describe my cancer.

June 1st - mediport surgery.

June 8th - total hip replacement surgery.

​At first, I had the typical feelings and emotions that everyone has when given awful news...I was angry, bitter, cried A LOT, anxiety, trouble sleeping, couldn't turn my mind off, and depression. My mind went through all the” what if's” and “why me's." I felt like I was given a death sentence, like there wasn't any hope for me and this was the end of the road. This lasted for a few weeks and then almost a week after my hip surgery, I decided this wasn't getting me anywhere. I had an 8-year old son who needed me and family/friends who loved me. Sitting around having a pity party wasn't helping anyone. That's when I got up and started to push myself to get back on my feet and start living again. I wasn't going to let this beat me or define me. I'm a fighter! I always have been. I was going to fight this no matter what. I was going to fight not only for myself, but for my son and all the family/friends who had my back through all of this. Life had dealt me crappy cards, but what's the use in getting down about it? I can't change it, so the only option I have is to make the best of it and live life to the fullest, even more so now. Two and a half weeks after my hip surgery, I walked without crutches and three weeks after surgery, I went home from my parents’ house.

Middle of July - The margins from the tumor on my hip tested positive for cancer cells. Two different oncologists and I discussed this and decided to go ahead with two weeks of radiation on my hip to make sure we kill any remaining cancer cells that got missed or broke loose during surgery.

July 29th - oophorectomy surgery (removal of ovaries).

August 31st - I went back to work after being off since May 28th.

September 10th - first cycle or month of medications finished. Not much at all for side effects, besides a low white blood count. Lump in breast went from 2.5 cm. to approximately 1 cm.

I'd never really dealt with major medical bills other than when I had my son. Since my son and I were really healthy, I signed up for a health savings account insurance plan at work in 2014. Not much was used that year, so when 2015 rolled around and my medical "mess" started with the bills flooding in, I was extremely anxious and nervous. I'm really good with budgeting my finances. I've never had anything this huge and life-changing have such an impact on my budget. I didn't know how I was going to make it work, but I knew I would somehow do it. When I got the opportunity to talk to someone about financial help, I was given Gabbi's name and number with Beyond Pink TEAM. When I called and talked to her, she explained the program and how it worked. She then signed me up and we talked about where I wanted the monetary help.

Because of this program, I was able to have some financial relief for a few months so I could be off work for my surgeries. I could now take that extra money and put it towards my medical bills. As a single mom that was off work for three months, and lots of new things to worry about, this was a huge weight off my shoulders. It really gave me one less thing to worry about. I can't thank everyone enough for this program, and what it did for me. It's nice to know there are programs and organizations out there like BPT that will help someone out when times get tough. Thank you, Gabbi, and an extra special thank you to the Beyond Pink TEAM!
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