help for cancer caregivers

By Jessica Nauholz, LMSW, Covenant Cancer Treatment Center
Mary Kobliska, LBSW, UnityPoint Waterloo Community Cancer Center

Being a caregiver for someone going through cancer can be both rewarding and stressful. You may feel that you don’t have time to do all that is being asked or expected of you. Burnout occurs when you are in a state of stress or distress for a prolonged period of time. Common causes of stress and burnout include:
• Fear & uncertainty: Cancer treatment isn’t certain. It’s hard not to worry about the person with cancer, and the future.
• Shifting roles: Caregiving can change relationships. This isn’t bad. But it can be upsetting when someone who has been a source of strength is suddenly vulnerable, or when you find yourself making decisions somebody else used to make.
• Too much to do: As a caregiver, you may feel overwhelmed by all you have to do, and as though everything is falling on your shoulders.
• Financial pressure: The costs of cancer care can be a source of stress. Also, you and the patient may be unable to work fulltime—or at all.
• Loneliness & isolation: Caregiving takes time. You may find you don’t have time to spend with friends, take part in outside activities, or pursue hobbies.
• Little time alone: Everyone needs time for themselves. This can be difficult to get when you are caring for someone with cancer.
• Constant demands: Being on call around-the-clock can be especially hard.
• Guilt: You may feel bad that you can’t give more, or you may feel that you are short-changing other family members and friends. While all these things are common among caregivers, there are things your can do to lessen your stress. Tips for dealing with your caregiver stress or burnout:
• Recognize the warning signs of stress early. Never dismiss your feelings as "just stress."
• Ask for help with caregiving and accept it! Make a list of everyone who may be able to help you out. Make a list of the things that can be done by other people like running errands. Then, ask others to do things for you.
• Talk to someone—a friend, counselor, family member, or clergy member.
• Talk to a professional if your stress is becoming a problem.
• Take care of yourself. Eat well, drink enough water and other fluids, and try to get some exercise every day, even if it’s just a walk around the neighborhood. Get regular medical and dental checkup.
• Identify sources of stress and write them down. Think about the things you can improve. Try prayer and/or meditation to accept the things you can’t change.
• Give yourself permission to grieve, cry, and express your feelings.
• Try meditation, yoga, music, or deep breathing to relax.
• Find support, especially for caregivers of people with cancer.
• Focus on the positive. At the end of the day, make a list of the good things that have happened. Give yourself credit for what you’re doing. Forgive yourself when you don’t do things as well as you want. Remember that you are doing the best that you can.
• Take time for yourself. Ask a friend or family member to stay with the patient or hire someone to give you time off to shop, go to a movie, or visit a friend.
• Learn to say "no" when someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do, and/or that may be draining (like hosting a family function).
• Educate yourself. A list of caregiver resources is in this newsletter.
• Find someone who can help you understand all the medical information. This could be a healthcare professional, someone in a support group, or someone who has been through the same thing. Keep a list of questions to discuss with the patient’s healthcare providers.
• Make a list of priorities for each day. Set realistic goals. • Write about what you’re going through in a journal. This is especially helpful for feelings that you don’t want to share.
• Try to plan for legal and financial matters. Planning now will lessen stress later. Involve other family members in these activities and decisions.

Caregiver Burnout and Stress.
Retrieved from https://helpforcancercaregivers.org/content/caregiver-burnout

CAREGIVER RESOURCE LIST

AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY – Contains interactive caregiver resource guide, caregiver support video series, support groups, and information about how to take care of yourself as a caregiver.

CANCER NET: CARING FOR A LOVED ONE – Information about caregiving basics, tips to be a successful caregiver, caregivers taking care of themselves, long-distance caregiving, caregiving at home, and hiring home care services. 

CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER: NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE – Caring for the caregiver is for friends and family members by helping with daily activities, preparing food, coordinating care and services, or offering emotional support. 

IMERMAN ANGELS – Free one-on-one support for patients with all types of cancers and/or caregivers. Patients/caregivers are matched with someone who has been on a similar journey. Register by phone at 312-273-1308 or online at https://www.imermanangels.org/get-support

MAYO CLINIC: STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR CAREGIVERS– Tips for taking care of yourself, signs of caregiver stress, strategies for dealing with caregiver stress, and respite care. 

​NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE – Information on coping for caregivers, advanced directives, and medical information. 

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