why me? Why not me?

by Linda Lindquist

Life throws us many curves and my life has not been any different. I am a breast cancer survivor. My breast cancer journey began with finding a lump in 2000. I knew I could travel this journey and I would have company on this journey that would be helpful. I also knew that there would be times I would need to travel alone, but there is HOPE and the knowledge that others are also on this same journey.

Why do you ask did I know this? It is because of another life’s curve. It was on a Friday, two days before Mother’s Day, there was a knock on the door that would shatter my life forever. It was a parents’ worst nightmare. Our 21 year old son had been in a tragic car accident. He was never to be hugged or say, ‘I love you’ again. No college graduation, no wedding celebration, no grandchildren. The visions, dreams and hopes we shared were gone. It was with my shock and pain and anguish, my life became a different journey.

Grief is isolating. It locked my heart and I did not want to go on. My family and friends haven’t been there to experience this type of loss. I had to reach out or not survive. My faith alone was not enough either. I went to support groups and found one called “Compassionate Friends” (for parents who have lost children). In this group there was a lot of safe sharing. I found I was not alone on this journey. I read somewhere when you lose someone you love, your soul moves to another “place”. This “place” is shared only by others who also have lost someone they love. They have traveled this “journey”.

So when I found that lump and was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew I could make it. There would be a support group and knowledge others have traveled this same journey and survived. I could do it, too. In 2014 I had a partial knee replacement on both knees (the same day) and knew I could survive that journey, also. And I did! I attended and walked the 2015 Pink Ribbon Run. I made memories.

​I want others to know that there are others traveling or have traveled their same journey. They need to reach out and grasp hold of the energies and support these groups can offer. Today is a gift so live as if there is no tomorrow. I am.

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